Humbling Experiences

It doesn’t really matter who you are or where you’re from. At some point, life will humble you. From something as trivial as losing a game to something as devastating as losing a loved one, every moment that life reminds us we are not in control resets our perspective…hopefully towards appreciation.

I remember when my brother came up from North Carolina to visit. I met him at a restaurant and my card declined when I went to pay. I’d been working so much that I completely forgot I hadn’t been paid yet. In my mid 20s, I probably should’ve been more financially accountable at the time but I had been relentlessly putting money into my business and honestly just had a mental lapse.

I used another card so it was no big deal but it was an embarrassing moment internally (I don’t think he noticed) AND also a humbling one that I look back on often now.

Sometimes when you’re so wrapped up in your own world, making something, producing something or proving something, you forget to take care of the small things and even worse you can forget to appreciate moments. Ironically, the humbling moments have been the best reminder for me to appreciate what I have and to take no moments for granted.

Today, I have genuine smiles because as I’m doing inventory on my book, (thank you for the invite to the trade show last weekend @Uncouffed), I realized we are almost at a milestone that I DO NOT want to take for granted.

Today, WE are just 64 books away from selling 500 copies of our first book. I know it might seem small to some but this is a huge deal for me and every single person that has supported my business partners and I. Individually and together, we’ve faced our share of humbling moments and they’ve all made me appreciate this moment even more.

THE JOURNEY

I’m signing every one of these copies to mark this moment and to be present. A little over a year ago, I had one of the most humbling experiences of my 31 years. The moment I’d been working towards for five years slipped through my fingers as quick as it had come when the first royalty statement I’d been waiting to receive was replaced instead by an email notice that the publisher I was working with had folded and was no longer in business.

Now understand, this is what we had worked for — mailbox money. No matter where we were in life, someone would be able to walk into a book store and grab our book (or order online) and for the remainder of our lives, we’d at least have one thing we owned that we gave to the world.

That’s what they tell you right? Put your time in, put your own money up, and good things will come right? So imagine how it felt to receive an email basically saying… “we know you paid us, we know you labored to write, edit, design, and market your idea into your dream but…sorry we can’t help you…k bye.”

(SIDE-NOTE: To anyone who really wants to write a book, DO NOT and I repeat absolutely DO NOT work with a vanity publisher if you can avoid it; Query & Pray)

When I finally caught my breath again, I wasn’t really sure how to react. We had books pre-printed, books that they had already sold through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the thieving publisher’s website — even E-books on Kindle and Nook. Where was our money for those sells? Do we have to go to court to sue them? All of these questions raced through my head and my brothers’ (business partners) who were both equally upset and confused.

It was infuriating BUT in retrospect it was just one more humbling moment we had to endure. We regrouped, called the warehouse where our pre-printed books were stored and the owner was beyond kind and supportive. He actually helped put things in perspective in our brief conversation. I remember him explaining, “you seem like a smart young man, you’ll figure it out, it’s the grandmas that have their memoirs here that I’m worried about.”

He told me he’d keep the books stored for a small warehousing fee or we could come down to get them OR he could ship them to us for a few hundred dollars of labor and shipping costs. What should have been an easy decision was of course another burden as I was tapped at this point and I had one business partner planning a wedding and the other reeling from a new home purchase.

Basically we were tapped out but we couldn’t just let our books sit there. In another humbling moment, family pulled together to surprise us with the funds needed to have the books shipped. Out of 1200 (pre-printed) we received about a 1000 (where the others went we’ll never know) and we resolved as a team to sell them ourselves and just start working on the next book.

Today, thinking of all the crazy setbacks while staring at our books, I am humbled because I could have so easily glossed over this milestone and not appreciated the moment but I caught myself. I thought of the times I wasn’t sure, the times I miscalculated and those other humbling moments where everything seems to be going wrong but I realized I’m fortunate to even be here, to be still breathing, and able to try.

I don’t know if I’ll ever sell millions of books on a world tour, I don’t know if I will find our big time NYC lit-agent, BUT I know that I wrote a book, I wrote it from a space of genuinely wanting to see good people recognized for overcoming their own obstacles and trying to make the world better. That book is a tribute to people who’ve taken the cards dealt to them and created companies, art, fashion, and inspiration for the world around them.

Today I’m so grateful for this moment but also the humbling moments for helping me understand how important this moment is. For everyone enduring their own moments, just remember it’s a part of your story…not anything to be ashamed of, but something that makes your book so much richer and stronger with every experience you endure.

I won’t feed you the cliché that every moment is “worth it” and YADA YADA, BUT I will say, that the humbling moments have always mattered to me. They serve as a reminder to appreciate the special moments you do get — moments with loved ones and strangers.

We don’t know what cards we will be dealt, but you can’t fully appreciate the royal flush without experiencing a few bad hands. Even moreso, appreciating that you are still at the table with a hand to play has been the greatest lesson in my short but storied business journey.

My hope for sharing this is that you embrace the humbling moments in your own life as perspective resets and enjoy your moments of triumph that much more. Praying for your blessings.

Oh…and go buy a book (artiscend.com/shop). The next 64 will be shipped free and signed by me. The book is a quick but really good read (imo) It’s basically a Chicken-soup-for-the-soul with true stories.

If you’ve already supported, thank you, if you can’t support, please share, and more important than us, I hope that OUR STORY helps YOU realize that humbling moments help make milestones so much sweeter.

JR -